Advent reviews... 23!

"What a Wonderful Christmas" by Louis Armstrong and Friends

Emma: ****

Charlie: ***.5

Emma: "Zat You Santa Claus?" is a track on this album. And sounds like Louis Armstrong does The Nightmare Before Christmas. It's great. And representative of the flavour of this whole album. Sense of fun mixed with actual incredible musical ability(ies). At last.

Charlie: If nothing else, this album has introduced a new Christmas meme to our holiday season— Armstrong's inimitable (though of course we try) "'zat you, Santy Claus?". His voice is (obvs) great, lots of good hot band playing, although it's ultimately not super Christmassy-sounding. Probably more worth putting on the whole album as a change of pace in a day of listening, rather than mixing it in the giant shuffle playlist. Fun AND musical— recommended.

Have it? Have it!

Advent reviews 22!

'A Christmas Album' by Bright Eyes

Emma: **.5
Charlie: *

Emma: Hm. Well. This album has a lot of interesting sounds on it. Musical saw-like sounds, for example. Bright Eyes' distinctive voice, for another. Myself, I'm not a very big fan of his indie sort of maybe best described (sorry all my fan friends) as whiney. Doing festive standards. Maybe your thing? Not mine.

Charlie: Bright Eyes made a name for himself in part by wrapping his emotion-filled warbles in songs and production that made it seem on purpose, and even at times beautiful. For a Christmas album, though, there's no changing the original tunes. And so: the result is very nearly unlistenable. Sorry, Conor. Sounds like it was a fun day in the studio, but I'm not buying it.

Advent Reviews 21, Solstice-style!

"A Very She & Him Christmas" by She & Him

Emma: **
Charlie: *

Emma: I like M. Ward. I think he brings a nice, refreshingly modern twist to a retro 60's sound. Sounds to me like he did a lot of the instrumentals and arrangements here. Unfortunately, though, he does very few of the vocals. That's where Zooey comes in. And, unfortunately, despite heavy production help in the form of generous reverbs, double-trackings, and softenings, she is first and foremost an actor. Not a singer. Nope. Her voice is styled as gentle and soothing, but is always thiiiis close to out of tune or out of breath or out of control, and lacking in original stylistic ideas, doing the Billie Holiday songs with the Billie Holiday stylings, the Elvis ones with his, etc. coming across as more karaoke than actual-musical-interpretation, or interesting...

Charlie: I was excited to listen to this one, having heard about She & Him from the hip city weeklies or whatever. Also Deschanel is good at the acting and Ward is good at the musics. However, this album ultimately disappoints: Deschanel brings extraordinarily little to each track, combining unconfident singing, dodgy pitch and an utter lack of interpretation into a sort of karaoke album. It sounds like a hobbyist's release— which, fair enough, this isn't either of their main careers— but I don't feel any need to listen to this again.


On the playlist?: Nope.

Advent reviews 20!

"Crooners at Christmas" by Various Crooners

Emma: *
Charlie: *

Emma: This would be the most soporific album ever IF it was properly mastered, but, since it jumps wildly in dynamic from one track to the next, and between the tracks and the patched-on-fake-live-applause after them, what it actually is is sleepy then annoying then sleepy then annoying... A little bit of well-produced crooner is lovely. A whole lot of badly scraped together ones is barely tolerable.

Charlie: This lugubrious set of tracks should come with a warning label: Do not listen to this while driving a car, operating heavy machinery, or in any other situation where drowsiness would be hazardous. It's interesting enough as an overview of the cultural phenomenon of 'crooners'— enabled by the then-new condenser mic technology in the 1940s and '50s, which allowed a singer to sing quietly and still project over an ensemble. However, the CD is extremely sloppily produced: uneven volume levels and weird between-track edits point to a rush job and shoddy mastering, and the inexplicable inclusion of two '60s songs which are (a) not sung by crooners and (b) not about Christmas, thus completely voiding their eligibility for inclusion according to the criteria of the title. Additionally (c) they are unreasonably bad as songs. Recommendation: About 1/3 of these tracks should be on your Christmas playlist, but get them via a different recording.

Advent reviews 19th:

"Christmas" by Johnny Reid

Emma: ***.5
Charlie: ****

Emma: I'll be honest, the album cover here did not inspire confidence. I'd never heard of this chap and was putting off listening to this one until it was the last thing in the cottage. Looks like: Over-produced smarm-jazz. But: It isn't! It's pretty darn good country/honky-tonk. What?! Who hired that photographer?

Charlie: To look at the cover, you'd never imagine what this sounds like. So first recommendation: Johnny, fire whoever talked you into using that picture for the cover art. In all the liner note pictures, he looks the way he sounds: Pleasingly rough, energetic, country/rock with a good dose of retro. We'd have been more likely to listen to this record if it weren't for the weirdly plastic, genreless cover photo. Was it a jazz album? Crooner? R&B? Country would have been my last guess.
But enough about the cover: the album was a wonderful surprise— solid arrangements, a great voice and good performance, no spoken-word track (!) and takes on some traditional tunes that outdo the 'standard' rendition: His "Blue Christmas" is leagues better than Elvis', and his "Little Drummer Boy" is possibly the best recording I've heard of that song— usually it makes me want to claw my ears off. Probably the first track, "Silent Night", is the strongest, but the entire album is definitely a must-listen.

Does one want it: If one is Charlie, then yes.

Advent reviews 18 (aka: we caught up!):

"Merry Christmas" by Mariah Carey

Emma: ***.5
Charlie: **.5

Emma: Well. I'm surprised at myself about this. It's more R&B soulful playful than annoying 90s pap, which is what I was expecting/remembering. Also, I learned that Mariah Carey is half Afro-Venezualan. So. All in all, some definite fun festive listening here. Surprised, but happy.

Charlie: Containing the expected dangerous levels of melisma (I'd guess she averages five notes per syllable across the album as a whole— I counted seven on the word "bells" in one case) this album has some obvious flaws: she often brings a level of intensity befitting a "one more time!" repeat of a final chorus. That said, those are some impressive pipes— sort of like a flute/soprano sax in terms of agility, with maybe twice the range. So that's interesting. There are some nearing-'classic'-status tracks on here, and I suppose I'd suggest pulling them off for your list. Just monitor your intake and don't exceed the Recommended Daily Allowance of 3-5 tracks for adults, 1-2 for children.

Have it: Some of it.

Advent reviews 17:

"A Christmas Together" by John Denver and The Muppets

Emma: ***
Charlie: **

Emma: I was really looking forward to this one. And, as I hoped, there were some tracks/moments that were pure muppet gold, like Beaker's contribution to the 12 days of Christmas, or Animal's won't go! WONT GO! contribution to We wish you a merry Christmas, and a number of other little bits of classic muppet timing and comedy. However, as a musical experience, as a whole, I'm not sure it's something I would want to listen to over and over...

Charlie: The Muppets are so much weirder and darker than they get credit for, but that's for another essay. Here, they do their traditional Christmas mashup with a music star— who originally thought of this concept, I wonder? It seems to be best suited for playing for visiting extended family with very young children: the kids get a kids' album, the adults get the occasional grown-up-type singing. The popularity of this one seems to come down largely to the popularity of the Muppets in general, so I'm inclined to say: unless you already have nostalgic feelings for it, skip it.

Keep it?: Maybe just a couple tracks...

Advent reviews SIXTEEN

"Holiday GOLD" (disc 5) by Marshmallow Media/The Canterbury Players and Singers

Emma: **.5
Charlie: (zero stars)

Emma: Well, this is the most disparate compilation we've come across yet. There's a track that fairly Danny Elfman-esque, another that's the same version of 'O Unto Us A Child Is Born' that I have on a full Messiah elsewhere, a really poor we-whacked-this-together-this-morning original, and much more. Some is good, some is bad, but the combo is entertaining, at least.

Charlie: Obviously meant to be sold as some kind of "free with purchase" deal, this album is a strange bird. It's overproduced to the point of school-project-dom, yet the production values themselves are high enough that you'd think they might have known better. Similarly, the arrangements shout "I was written in MIDI and then tweaked until the arranger lost all perspective." The performances are credible enough, but this sounds exactly like something that was done in the hopes of making a buck, and not out of love for the music, Christmas, or anything else.

Put it onto your music-shelf?: No, guess not.

Advent reviews: 15! :

"Christmas Through Your Eyes" by Gloria Estefan

Emma: *
Charlie: .5

Emma: It's sad that Gloria Estefan has some kind of disorder where she can only sing one tempo. Slow. But that seems to be the case. If not for the different lyrics, I would swear each track here is the same smarmy 90's smooooooth pop. With the occasional bit of incongruous "Classical" thrown in here and there for "Christmas" "authenticity". The one star comes from the bits of latin-inspired rhythm that, if you ignore everything else, you can kind of dance to.

Charlie: For most of this album, my mind was consumed by three questions. First, what is taste? Is this music distasteful, or is it just not my thing? Are there objective reasons to dislike it, or is it just music that I, personally, don't like? Second— can she only sing at that one tempo? There are songs/arrangements that seem to cry out for faster or more responsive singing, but she carries on steadily, midtempo, seemingly refusing to engage. Finally, have I heard some of these tracks before? Possible while walking the aisles of some godforsaken grocery store in the early '90s? Not recommended. (After listening to this, I felt the need to wash my ears out with some Bruce Springsteen.)

Take it: No, no, no thanks.

Advent reviews 14:

"Christmas Album II" by The Barra MacNeils

Emma: ***.5
Charlie: ****

Emma: Well. Now I wish I could go back and give the last Barra MacNeil album four stars. I was too harsh, too quick. Because this one is similar, a bit less production, a bit of a longer awkward spoken word track and a couple slightly cringely-lyriced originals, but, for the most part, it's great. Just not as great as the last one. So. Actually. This should be 3.5, and it should be 4. Oh, hindsight.

Charlie: The second in a series, this one feels strangely like a first effort. That said, it is another extremely strong entrant in the Christmas Album category, and one I'd consider myself fortunate to be able to add to my playlist. Again, there is a must-skip spoken-word track (involving a quite good poem, to be fair— but for a Christmas playlist I want songs only) but that's well offset by some strong performances of traditional, new, classical and well-done mashups of all of those. Recommended, after you pick up a copy of the other disc in the series.

Have it: Yes, we will.

Advent reviews 13!

'The Christmas Album' by The Barra MacNeils

Emma: ***.5
Charlie: ****.5

Emma: This was a tricky call for me, I very nearly could give this one four stars. It's mainly really good. Doing that Eastern-Canada Celtic Christmas thing very well with gorgeous family harmonies, thoughtful arrangements and definite jig-ability. Half-star lost for the (why? Why Christmas albums, why?) spoken word track mid-way through.

Charlie: A delightful combination of lovely, close-and-polished-but-not-overly-smooth vocals with musically-accomplished celtic trad band playing, this album hits high notes on nearly every track. They've got the polish of Riverdance with none of the pandering, the enthusiasm of a scrappy indie band, and the well-worn warmth of a pub band of lifers in Dublin. Special call-out to the understated but wonderful piano playing that hides among and supports the rest of the instruments. The only gripes I have are the seemingly-obligatory spoken word track (skip it) and one of the slower original tunes that doesn't quite reach the level of the others. Highly recommended.

Make it yours?: Yes

Advent reviews...12!

"The Time-Life Treasury of Christmas"

Emma: ****
Charlie: **.5

Emma: A surprisingly listenable compilation of well-curated Christmas hits from the 20s through 70s. Dolly Parton is on here! And Elvis and Bing and some people I don't know but still danced to. Better than I expected.

Charlie: As a compilation of classic recordings, it's hard to go completely wrong with this one. About half of the selections here are solid gold; if you don't have them available, this is as good a way as any to get them. On the other hand, they're mixed in with should-be-forgotten-by-now terrors such as the Beach Boys' half-hearted Santa's Beard, which wins dual prizes for poorly-scanning lyrics and making one minute fifty-seven seconds feel like an eternity. In short, half of this album gets full marks and the other half gets a zero. Mine it for the good bits, and throw away the rest!

Put it in your pile: Yes

Advent reviews 11:

"The Best of AMY GRANT, The Christmas Collection", by Amy Grant

Emma: **.5
Charlie: *

Emma: I recently learned the definition of "Schmaltz"; it's fascinating. This album is, I believe, an alternate definition. Think classical hits like Jesu Joy smushed in with classic carols, very perfect and produced smooth vocals. Think: Mall music in December. Not all bad, at all, but not something I want to actively listen to, really.

Charlie: This gets a big 'meh' from me. Nothing about it stands out or makes it particularly listen-worthy; it's a bunch of traditional Christmas songs with zealous (some might say overly-so) orchestral arrangements and not particularly compelling vocal performances. It scores high on the pandering meter, though. No desire to repeat listen to this one.

Do you want it forever: No thanks.

Advent reviews 10!

The Roger Whittaker Christmas Album

Emma: **.5
Charlie: ***

Emma: There's nothing really wrong with this album, I just feel like I'm listening to it thirty odd years late. These are true Folk Songs from the true Folk Song period of music history, and their gentle, sweet ways are lovely (all originals from what I can tell, except the whistled lullaby. Which, by the way, is worth 5 stars. WHAT A WHISTLER!), but not for me, now. Sorry Roger. I do love your whistling.

Charlie: Full of accomplished songwriting, ambitious production, and 100% fully-committed delivery, this is the perfect album for someone— kids, for sure, and folk fans— and probably anyone willing to sit down, face the stereo, and play the whole thing with no distractions. It's a sort of folk concept album full of storytelling and dramatic flourishes. Which makes it not really work at all for our purposes of "Christmas playlist" reviewing, although I'm very glad it exists, out there in the world. (Also, Roger's photo on the album cover is so genuine and open*, it makes me hope he's doing well out there, even though I know nothing about him other than that he's made this album. Merry Christmas, Roger!)

*and, to be fair, a bit like my dad as a younger man, which might explain some of this.

Advent reviews times 9

'To Drive the Cold Winter Away' by Loreena McKennitt

Emma: **.5
Charlie: **

Emma: So THIS is what we meant to listen to/review yesterday. Anyway. It's good! Really sparse Celtic-Classical vocals and harp beautiful performed and produced but... not especially Christmasy. Also the cover scares me a little bit.

Charlie: This is really beautiful, and (as you might expect) impeccably-produced. It's more what I'd want to use as music for a dramatic montage in the third season of Outlander, though, and less what I'd want to put on a Christmas playlist. As music? ***.5 As Christmas music? **.

Put it in the Christmas bag?: No. But I'll put it in my general winter bag.

Advent Albums 8:

'To Drive the Cold Winter Away' by Silverwood Quartet

Emma: ***
Charlie: ***

Emma: This was a mistake. I was actually looking for the Loreena McKennitt album of the same name but got tricked by Spotify. Which explains why this album is only about 50% Christmasy and 50% Just-Plain-Baroque. But, Baroque chamber music sounds Christmasy anyway, so it kind of worked... Instrumental niceness it's easy to let float around on a midwinter's morning.

Charlie: Likewise, this is inarguably nice music that works well for that downtime between presents-opening and the earliest time you can reasonably have a cocktail. When you want to just sort of lie on the floor. This is good for that time. Or mixing in a bit most anywhere. This is the pink peppercorn of holiday albums.

Playlist it?: 50% of it.

Advent reviews...7!

"If On A Winter's Night" by Sting

Emma: ***.5
Charlie: ****

Emma: Ok. So there's a little bit of oh-dear sax on this. And sometimes Sting's voice is just a bit over the Sting-edge. But, for the most part, actually, this is _really_ quite good! Like ancient folk good. Trad viols in riling and/or moving arrangements good. Good.

Charlie: This album hits all the buttons, from the medieval-sounding 'ancient-folk' tunes that form the high points, to the impeccable production value, to the great-yet-simple arrangements. There are a few spoken-word bits (is there some sort of inside joke among famous performers who do Christmas albums that requires them each to have a couple of spoken verses? It's a bad joke, guys. Cut it out.) and a few slightly wankier moments, but in general this is a great find, and well worth adding to your Christmas playlist.

Do you want to keep it?: Well, yes, actually.

advent reviews 6

'A Christmas Gift For You' from Philles Records

Emma: ***.5
Charlie: ***.5

Emma: Ok. I choose this based on a recommendation before I knew of the Bad Things about its producer, Phil Spector. But, all that aside, this classic 60's do-wop rendering of festive hits makes for a rather successful balance of new/genre and tradition. Upbeat and sweet and boogeyable. Sleighride is particularly great... the last spoken word track from Phil, well, you can just skip.

Charlie: It's difficult to listen to this without one's ears being clouded by the fact that it's yet another cultural artefact made by a power-tripping misogynist who ended up committing murder. So, there's that. The actual sounds on the record, though, are a perfect blend of traditional songs with 1960s shuffle stylings and wall-of-sound orchestrations. Not perfectly even, but strewn with hits, packed with strong performances, and very upbeat. As long as Phil doesn't get to enjoy the Spotify proceeds, I'm happy to stream this.

Queue it up: Yep.

Advent reviews 5:

'Christmas in the Stars' (Star Wars Christmas Album)

Emma: **
Charlie: *.5

Emma: I'll allow that some people are most likely incredibly fond of this due to nostalgia. And that's ok. But I think we can all agree there's nothing to be fond of musically in endless awkward robot babble over mediocre children's choir. Sure, titles like "What do you get a Wookie for Christmas (when he already has a comb)" seem endearing, but not for an hour. Not really for four minutes, even.

Charlie: I came to this having heard only that is was better than you'd expect, given how bad the Star Wars Christmas Special is. (I also haven't seen the SWCS— all I've heard is that it's even worse than you'd expect.) In this case, I have to say: it isn't. Better. Than you'd think. It is exactly as bad as you might expect. Lazy in execution, obviously thrown together to make a buck rather than out of love for the Star Wars universe; its redeeming quality is a bit of musical playfulness and a teaspoonful of humour stretched out thinly over the vast expanse of the album's length.

Adding it to the list: Nope, sorry.

Advent reviews 4:

'Christmas Time is Here' by (the) Canadian Brass

Emma: ****.5
Charlie: ****.5

Emma: Wow. I didn't think I had heard this before, but turns out I have, when I was young enough to absorb every whimsical bit of festive brass fancy. A bit cheeky sometimes, but playfully, and genuinely beautiful sometimes too. I love this one.

Charlie: This fantastic album ticks all the boxes: beautiful performance, great arrangements, traditional warmth and modern flair/weirdness. The arrangement of 'Für Elise' in particular is a study in the kind of music we can't do anymore, because copyright. It's like sampling, using 19th-century technology (i.e. written sheet music). Brass players would have the strength and balance of character to pull something like this off, wouldn't they? Excellent, all 'round.

Would you?: YES

Advent Album Review #3...

"Christmas on Death Row"

Emma: *

Charlie: **.5

Emma: Well. This one sure has an unfestively scary title. The music, however, is decidedly unscary, just kind of run-of-the-mill hip-hop uncomfortably squished with Christmas Classics. More cheese than fear. Not good.

Charlie: The album art would have you believe that this is some kind of terrifying thrash-metal/gangsta rap hybrid. Apparently the title has to do with Death Row Records? In any case, this smooth-R&B compilation would have done better to go under a different moniker. It's unbearably melismatic at times, but on the tracks where the wailing is kept under control it's a bunch of Xmas tunes that would serve fine as background music. Worth listening to, but probably not going to make the playlist for repeated listening.

Add it to the list?: NOPE

Xmas tunes review 2!

Album: Johnny Cash: The Classic Christmas Album

Emma: ***.5
Charlie: ****

Emma: Why is Johnny Cash's distinct sound kind of innately Christmas-y? It's weird, but it's true. This album varies in quality and style, and includes a couple classic attention-seeking "spoken word over music" tracks, but it all kind of works. Kind of.

Charlie: This is apparently what Bob Dylan was trying to emulate when he made his famously horrendous Christmas album. Unlike Dylan's hamfisted, poorly-produced steaming pile of insincerity, however, Cash seems to revel in the weirdness of this combination of traditional carols (replete with 1930s-film-music-style orchestrations), down-home call-and-response originals, and, yes, the occasional how-I-remember-it-back-home spoken-word piece. It's uneven, to be sure, but Cash carries it off in the end. Ultimately recommended, although well-mixed with other tracks for safety's sake.

New Section! "Would you add it to your annual household festive playlist?" YES.

ADVENTIMES 2014!

Hello everybloggy. You thought this blog was dead. Oh, you said, that old blog? It's dead.

But. Guess what?

It's not. It's not dead. It was just... waiting. Like advent. Like advent is all about waiting, so too was this blog all about waiting. Waiting for advent, actually. The magical 24/5 days a year when this dormant-like-a-cicada-larva blog springs back to life. And, that time, that advent time, IS NOW.

So. What is it this year? What AdventAdventure? Well, this year it dawns on us that, every year, come December, we basically have Bing Crosby, Boney M, and Charlie Brown on repeat. Which can get a little bit tiresome. So, this year, we are:

LISTENING TO A NEW CHRISTMAS ALBUM AND THEN REVIEWING IT HERE!  Every day. So we can all re-stock our playlists and stay festive at the same time.

And today is Day One. And Album number one, as recommended by one Ben M., is...



"Christmas on The Big Island" by The Blue Hawaiians!

STAR RATING!
Emma: ***
Charlie: **

ONE LINE REVIEW!
Emma: Classic Hawaiian Christmas instrumental style, with more surprising minor chords than you'd expect; not bad for background, but not very festive either.

Charlie: Not bad as background music, but doesn't really rise above the "What if we took A and added B" formula. As Emma mentions, the stranger tunes and major/minor playing is the highlight of this album.

Top Track: "We Four Kings"