eeek!

And today we fly!

What did the English lecturer call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate clauses

Boxing day and all that.

So, I wanted to take my bike out for a spin this morning, but it said it couldn't because it was two-tired.

TODAY! (But kind of not really)

Also by Charlie*, over hot chocolate with coconut marshmallows, last night:

What's the difference between theory and practice?

In theory there is no difference.

*He's on fire.**

**Not literally.

Eve.

From a christmas cracker, provider of some of the finest jokes in my repertoire:


How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep-pan, crisp, and even.

eve-eve

'Twas the day before the day before, and we went for a quite cold, quite bright and early run along the giant and sparkling lake. During that, Charlie came up with this cracker:

Did you hear about the spa that offers a seance relaxation package? The medium is the massage.

Today is December 22nd!

I made this one up this morning, while Charlie prepared his coffee with some amazing whole milk in an amazing reusable glass jug.


So, it's tough times, recession and all, for santa's workshop and all subsidiary industries, including the reindeer. Some time around mid-October a rumour starts to circulate that there's going to be some downsizing, and some new, cheaper, easier to source labour brought in. Highly trained and willing to work for way less hay, these replacements were rumoured to be arriving from the south within the season. It's just too much for Blitzen, Dasher and Prancer, and when the head-elf comes in to break it to them, formalize the news the week after remembrance day, just when feed is starting to go scarce, they break down, sobbing, into hysterical wailing. The elf, who is very good at her job, priding herself on as little emotive connection as possible, sighs frustratedly and, after five minutes of the reindeer's carrying on, not emptying their desks as requested, bellows at them: "Oh, for Santa's sake! Stop crying over skilled Elk!"


Thank you. Happy new-style advent.

Yes! It is!

Hello Everybody.

I'm sorry. I know. I know! What?! December 21st?! Well. Let me explain.

There was a plan, originally, with Charlie, to make a genre-film parody for each day of advent. 24 genre film parodies. Brilliant! Fun! But, then, actually, Charlie was mega busy with job interviews and PhD applications and I was gigs, gigs, gigs, and we didn't actually have a camera. And then it was now.

But, not to worry! Because we Hoopers are doing Christmas the 29th-of-December style this year, and today is my first official holiday-day (Chicago! Brunch! Oh man.) so, for mini advent-treats this year you all get:

ONE AWESOME JOKE FROM SOLSTICE TO HOOPERMAS!

Ready? Day one. A propo of all flying around the world to see each other:



A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."

Wuther or not.

Okay, so, the adventreats are more labour-intensive this year, and, therefor, not ready yet. But, soon! In the meantime, to counteract, or, let's say, compliment, Erin's latest Christmas Dance Sensation, might I propose one of my own? I have had this, both the song and the dance moves, in my head for almost two months now. I can't get enough. I really can't. I love Kate. My gift to you:

AS OF TODAY

It is officially advent, (though for some of us it has been since Sunday, but, whatever). So. Get ready.

...