Saturday 14 November 2009

Little German Story 1, "The Tragedy of Weissbare"


Nearer the beginning of the tour, and of our time at the outer-space hotel in Bremen (right next door to the only Primark in Germany), we took two haribo gummy bears, both red, and placed them each in one of the lovely wine glasses that came with our room.

In the first bear's (henceforth to be called "Weissbare") glass we put water. Just regular Bremen tap water. The equation for this bear as follows:

1 red haribo bear+water

In the second bear's (henceforth to be called "Mineralbare") glass we put water AND one of those fizzy dissolving vitamin and mineral things that turns water orange. So:

1 red haribo bear+water+1 fizzy vitamin thing

Then we waited. We waited for days and days, for an entire week. Science!

Results were shocking.

Weissbare lost all colour whatsoever. In fact, at first, we thought he had dissolved completely, until we detected the faint jiggling outline of an overgrown gummi. Weissbare had, my friends, become enormous, and lost all his colour, but maintained his shape. Until we tried to scoop him out of the water. Then he disastorously glopped into pieces, much to our horror.

Mineralbare, on the other hand, only grew a little bit, but kept most of his colour (final state: medium orange). When we scooped him out of his water he was fit and firm, strong and rubbery.

Still, we liked Weissbare more.

End of German story one.

Wednesday 4 November 2009

A true story.

The story of my time in Germany, by Emma Hooper:

They couldn't find the word for deer
no matter how they tried
forest brown and leaping legs
sigh and try and silence drags
they couldn't find the word for deer
no matter how they tried.